


Reasons Not to Date a Prostitute. (Discontinued)

by clydefroggo



Category: South Park
Genre: Christophe is a total cat dad, Craig Damien and Christophe form a b a n d, Craig has a bad immune system lmao, Damien isn't a nice dude lmao, Gregory is a bit zoophobic, I regret all of my life decisions, M/M, My 2 favorite ships uwu, Pip is pretty unstable, Probably k i n k y at some point uwu, Prostitution, dip - Freeform, gregstophe, i probably will lose motivation ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 15:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20491094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clydefroggo/pseuds/clydefroggo
Summary: Christophe DeLorne, Damien Thorne, and Craig Tucker's band go out on tour. The three, sexually deprived, go out on the streets for a good time. They're all quite sexually deviants, but all of them "aren't gay" and "don't wanna get it up the ass", which, spoiler alert. They totally do, they just aren't ready to admit it.Sad part is, 66.66% percent of the band get a little bit attached to their respective prostitute, and the other 33.33% has to try and keep the band from falling apart.





	Reasons Not to Date a Prostitute. (Discontinued)

Christophe DeLorne, the drummer of a band he and a rather close friend of his started. This man went by the name Craig, Craig Tucker, known as the guitarist and singer. Christophe wrapped his arm lazily around the man, wearing a playful grin, his eyes glittering with nothing other then pure amusement. The tour bus gently shook the leather booth where they sat, Craig being generally annoyed by a lot of things, took a dislike to this feature that he felt could've been so easily fixed by any person decent at their job. Christophe could practically smell the frustration and annoyance off of his comrade, and as a person who took a slightly devious joy to others suffering, he felt amused.  
He picked up the champagne glass that was softly shaking along with the bus, putting his unoccupied index and middle finger gingerly under the cup part of the appropriately named glass. Slowly picking it up, he brought it to his lips, taking a delicate sip of the liquid. He enjoyed the sour taste of sparkling wine, though his comrade preferred when it tasted like some sort of alcoholic soda. Christophe didn't get the appeal of overly sweetened champagne, which made sense, as he wasn't overall a big fan of soda. Craig let out an exasperated sigh, repeating what Christophe had done with his glass, but instead of taking a sip, he held it out towards Christophe, slightly tipping the head of the cup towards the brown-haired man.  
Christophe was rather surprised, though brought the glass away from his lips, tipping the champagne glass towards Craig's cup, knocking the rim of the glass against his comrade's. 

"Cheers!" 

They spoke in something that could only be described as almost unison, and after their glasses made contact, Craig almost immediately pulled his away, bringing it up to his mouth and taking an abrupt and all too large gulp of the sweetened wine. Craig gave a nasty cough in response, it sounded phlegmy, his eyes widening in surprise and momentary alarm, knocking his unoccupied fist against his own chest in the lung area. He hacked up a little bit of what he assumed to be champagne, and a little bit of something that smelled like stomach acid. He sent a disgusted glare to the liquids that had landed on the table, uncomfortably shifting out of Christophe's grasp. He then turned so half of his body was turned towards the other, and used all of his upper body strength to push his arms against the brown-haired boy's side, pressing his palms forcefully against Christophe's arm, scowling.  
Christophe responded with a surprised yelp, stumbling out of the seat and barely being able to regain his footing, his eyes widened in bewilderment as he fixed Craig with a questioning glare. Yes, he could see that the boy had just hacked up some sort of liquid, but as to why Craig felt the need to shove him out of the seat was foreign to him.

"What ze fuck waz zat for?" 

Christophe spoke, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms once he had fully stabilized himself, masking the rage flaring in his eyes with a calm stare. He didn't like to be pushed around, whether it be physical, verbal, or mental (he often had internal fights against himself), he didn't like it. Adding to this, he wasn't use to being pushed around, for he had only been teased and pushed a rather small number of times. So when his bandmate and one of his best comrades physically pushed him- it didn't settle quite right in his mind, and being the stubborn prick he was, was not going to allow this sudden change in Craig. It was unnatural. Christophe didn't like change- not one bit.  
Craig pulled himself forcefully out of the leather booth, ignoring the painfully obviously enraged Christophe and hobbling slowly and awkwardly towards the small refrigerator in the travel bus. He put his hand tightly around the handle, giving it a harsh tug until the magnets in the fridge released their tight bond, and Craig grabbed blindly for one of the many water bottles in the cold cube. He successfully pulled one out, his eyes closed as he put his fingers tightly over the blue bottle cap and twisting it to the side. He tossed it over in Christophe's direction, it landing by the brown-haired boy's feet, Christophe in turn, kicked it away from him, watching as Craig proceeded to grab the bottle and abruptly swinging it up above his head (his chin following) and taking a large gulp. Now, you would assume Craig would've learned his lesson to not take too large of sips. Although he was luckier this time and didn't choke, it was still a rather unhealthy (and just totally illogical) decision on his part.  
He chugged the water until he felt as if he was to throw up. He felt nauseous now, which totally fucking sucks if you're on a tour bus, moving down the highway as your bandmate gets ready to scold the living shit out of you for pushing him in your desperate attempt to get water so he didn't get choked to death by some stupid ass sweet champagne. Craig dramatically set the water bottle down atop the small, portable refrigerator, taking a deep inhale and wiping the area around his mouth with the sleeve wrapped around his forearm, letting out a quiet groan and opening his eyes to meet the gaze of a stern looking Christophe.

Craig gave an apologetic frown, putting both of his hands up in the air in mock surrender, feeling genuinely a little sorry, observing the brown-haired boy, who had his arms crossed sternly, his face set in the same position as if it had been carved into a stone, shaking his head softly. Craig set his hands back down by his sides, hoping he needn't explain, though luck didn't seem to fully be on his side today.

"Do 'ou care 'o explain?" 

Christophe almost snapped, though held himself back with the thought of losing his precious bandmate over something as stupid as being pushed for something that seemed like it had been performed for little to no reason.

"No." 

Craig sat down calmly back in the booth, not bothering to wipe up the acids and champagne he had previously hacked up, sending a look to Christophe to observe what kind of reaction he'd earn, and surprisingly enough, he didn't seem to have earned one. Christophe just sat back down beside him, gripping his champagne tighter then he previously had been, deciding not to spare a second look or thought to Craig.  
Craig was disappointed with Christophe's reaction, but didn't look any further into it.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so hello! I'm Clyde, and I'll be accompanying anyone else who joins me in this wild ride of a fanfiction. I've been planning this for months now, so I hope I can finally put this plan into action, and do it well h a h a  
Fair warning, English isn't my first language (even though I've been taking classes in it for years) and my first language is Norwegian, so please remind me of any spelling/grammar mistakes, and I'll be glad to fix them. So, uh, if you enjoyed, please leave kudos and/or reviews to tell me what you thought.  
Future chapters will be longer, I was just rushing for time with this one, I apologize unu


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